I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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