Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
