who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
