Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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