Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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