apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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