Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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