I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
