I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
