i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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