She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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