I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
