she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
