Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
