You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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