The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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