The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
