oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
