Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I need to wash the frat house off of me
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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