Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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