I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
