They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
