I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
