they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
