dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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