well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
