You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
