your thong is hanging out like whoa
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
