On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
