We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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