I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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