I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
