At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize