I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
