i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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