thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
