is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize