I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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