I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
