so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
