good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize