I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
