Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
