On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
