Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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