He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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