I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
