just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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