Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
