Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
