its not stalking. its research.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
