And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
