fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
