i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm too high and old for this...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
