okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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