he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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