I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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